Trigger Warning~ Baby Loss Awareness Week
Books, they not only provide support, but they can also be a tool for information. October is baby loss awareness month, a time for people to come together in remembrance of those babies who were loved but lost.
A selection of books I never thought I would need to buy were books on was miscarriage. This aspect of life had not happened to those closest to me and I felt lost in the sea of online literature and recommendations.
However, I had weirdly read a book that included a short story on miscarriage which helped me in my initial coping the day I found out my baby had died. I had read this book prior to my pregnancy and it’s called Why Women Grow by Alice Vincent. This beautiful book encapsulates a variety of women’s stories and why they have turned to nature. Amongst the historical tales of Vanessa Bell at Charleston House and those women growing in community gardens, there is one that includes a story about a woman who loses her child and turns her garden into a shrine to her lost daughter Willow. This story stayed with me and when I had that dreaded news my husband and I went to the garden centre on our way home to purchase a plant to keep as a memory of our lost one. This really helped me in those early days and shows the power Vincent’s writing has as this book that I had read 5 months earlier had stayed with me to help in my darkest hour.
So, once I decided I wanted to know more specifically about what I was going through I turned to a book that kept cropping up in my research, The Worst Girl Gang Ever: A Survival Guide for Navigating Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss by Bex Gunn and Laura Buckingham. This book was the book I needed as no one prepares you for one of the worst moments of your life. From understanding your body to how to deal with those around you this book really is as described… the survival guide. From start to finish you feel supported in your emotions and it helps you simply to get through the days and reminds you it is okay to feel what you are feeling.
After reading this book I did purchase two more and one of the two I turned to next was Life, Almost: Miscarriage, misconceptions and a search for answers from the brink of motherhood by Jennie Agg. This book is both a memoir and a scientific investigation, helping to answer those key questions you have surround the big question of why?... why me? Why did this happen? And more. A moving reflection on grief this is one I found useful for relating to on a wider scale. The other book was Miscarriage: What every Woman needs to know by Professor Lesley Regan. This book includes up to date understanding of what causes a miscarriage and answers those key questions surrounding the causes and treatments available. I found it particularly interesting for its focus on autoimmune conditions and how they can affect pregnancy as I suffer with AS Arthritis.
After reading these books I felt I had read what I needed and was ready to read some uplifting books (three of which I reviewed here). However, with this trauma and grief until you live through it you do not know how you will react and what you need from your reading. If you need help our booksellers are always on hand on the phone, via our website or in store where we can research and supply the books to help you through your current phase of life.
The grief I do not think will ever leave me but learning to live with it is a challenge that I found these books helped me to tackle.
“Every year the week ends with the Wave of Light on 15 October, a moment which commemorates all the much-loved and much-missed babies. For some, this is a private moment of reflection, while others share photos or videos of their candles on social media to connect with others taking part.”~ Tommys Org
I still light candles in my house and tomorrow (15th October) I will be lighting my candle in memory of my lost baby as many others around the world share their grief during Baby Loss Awareness Week. Take care x